You're right - too much information.
Forgive me. I'm not perfect and Christmas is 10 days away. I'm under pressure!
But we've all been there. Right??
Of course, I blame the whole close to the edge - avoiding eye contact - borderline psychotic introversion on the GPK comic that I found during my Facebook induced 80's cartoon flashback that I shared here and here.
You're right - that was better left forgotten. We've all seen it and suffered enough.
Does anyone watch 30 Rock? I laughed when Avery told Jack that she only has her period once a year, an occasion for which she holds a standing reservation at a fenced-in "retreat" in the Adirondacks. Now I'm thinking she's a freaking genius. If only I had her money... I'll have to work on that. As for Jenna's habit of soaking her tampons in vodka - I'm saving that little treat for the holiday festivities yet to come.
Maybe laughter is the best medicine.
Let's all laugh a little and fell less crazy, shall we?
30 Rock Laughs1. Jenna: You should go to my Doctor. He's gay, but not when he's drunk.
2. Tracy: Sure, I Google myself all the time. Like when Angie's not in the mood or I'm alone in a hotel.
3. Tracy: Well I'm sorry Sean, and child actor whose name I can't remember. You haven't walked in my shoes! All my life I've tried to forget the things I've seen: I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs! I watched a prostitute stab a clown! Our basketball hoop was a ribcage! A guy in dreds electrocuted my fish! a crackhead breast-feeding a rat! A homeless man cooking a Hot Pocket on a third rail of the G train! The G train, Nermal!
4.Tracy: Recently I realized I have a hole in my heart. And not the one I got from eating batteries.
5. Tracy: I feel like you're not telling me something, Jack. Lemme guess. You bought a sidecar for your motorcycle and your dog won't stay in it.
6. Tracy: Heavy is the head that eats the crayons.
7. Tracy: So here's some advice I wish I would have got when I was your age... Live every week, like it's shark week.
8. Jack: Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?
9. Paul: I'm saying, adopting a dog so it can watch us make love and then returning it, claiming that it bit our imaginary child, is everything that I need, but if that's not enough for you tell me now.
10. Liz: Trying on jeans is my favorite thing. Maybe later I can get a pap smear from an old male doctor.
11. Verna: It's at a fancy restaurant, so wear something nice, like a pair of white jeans and a Dan Marino jersey
12. Liz: You can't force the fate, you just have to let it wash over you like a spray tan that won't take because your skin is too oily.
13. Jenna Maroney: Oh, I can play dead. I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear.
14. Liz: Do I look okay?
Cerie: That’s exactly how you look
15. Jack: You can't delude yourself into thinking you can combine them into one perfect woman, like a Smore you can take a shower with
16. Liz: I will spend half the day in twilight sleep and then I will go home to watch the Lifetime movie 'My Stepson Is My Cyber-Husband.'
Jack: That's inspired. You truly are the Picasso of loneliness.
I love quotations. And I love you, 30 Rock.
And I feel better now.