The thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
Demetri Martin

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Others Look Up to You

Last night was my work's annual Christmas party.  Unfortunately it was my turn to man the ship, so I missed out on the festivities.  Much to my delight, there were a few fortune cookies left over this morning from the night staff's 'absent from the Christmas party' Chinese food feast, (supplied complements of our service's chief surgeon).  Deluded by the common misconception that fortune cookies are good to eat, I excitedly nabbed one to enjoy with my breakfast.  It read, 

~~~~ others look up to you ~~~~

This is frightening.  I feel bad for these people.  Scared for them, even.  But I am nevertheless impressed with my ability to continually pull the wool over people's eyes.  Having others think that you know what you're doing is almost as effective as actually knowing what you are doing.  Perhaps it is my mastery of the illusion of competence that is responsible for said people actually looking up to me.

Either way, who am I to question the insightful wisdom of the mass produced pre-packaged cookie?

And yes - it was boring.  Not bad, just ehn ... As is always the case with fortune cookies, despite the delusion that they are, in fact, good.  Which, let's fact it, they are not.

Allow me to analyze this intriguing paradox even further:  

I think the mind hears 'cookie' and insists on thinking 'yum' despite the fact that the consumption of fortune cookies is almost always immediately followed by the thought: "that wasn't good at all, why was I so excited?"  Followed in turn by "so help me, am I going to be tasting that all day??"  Followed by "wow, that's not settling well at all."  Followed finally by "why would anyone look up to someone who just displayed excitement at the prospect of eating a hard, dried up, sugary-but-otherwise-tasteless cookie that was likely made months, or even years ago and imported from somewhere on the other side of the world."  And "hasn't this hypothetical hero ever experienced the unsatisfying taste of a fortune cookie?  What's all the excitement about?"  And finally, finally "that's it - I need a new person to look up to."

Oddly enough, the mass produced cookie cutter (heehee) left over fortune cookies may be the only part of last night's Chinese food feast that actually had anything to do with China.  You know, likely having been made in China.  Hence, in defence of my ability to serve as an inspirational person (which seems to have come under some degree of scrutiny here, sheesh):  isn't an attempt to gain knowledge regarding other cultures a quality legitimately worthy of inspiration?

That's what I thought.

And if anyone reading this actually likes Chinese fortune cookies - the hard, pre-packaged ones dispensed around here with 'Chinese' food - don't take this critique as a judgement of your palette. 

Fortune cookies are delicious -everyone likes them! 
I mean, hey - they're cookies, aren't they???
Plus they contain little bits of wisdom that can be inspiring all on it's own.  
And we all need something (ahem, someone) to look up to. 


Sonia at The Third Street Studio said...

Your kids don't a have choice but to look up to you, they're little kids. I'm sure that is what the cookie is referring to. On a side note, not once while I was in China did any food establishment offer me a fortune cookie.

Andrea on Third Street said...

Yeah I failed to mention the fact that I'm short, so the only people actually 'looking up' to me are, in fact, small children.

That's funny about there being no fortune cookies in China.


Related Posts with Thumbnails