Etceteras :: Top Fives

Well folks, it's time for another weekly Etceteras topic.

The topic this week is 

Top Fives 

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The following is my entry for this week, just to kick things off.

Top Five Things to Do in a Doctor's Waiting Room

5. Read a magazine out loud. Act shocked and appalled at the behaviours of celebrities. Do the Quiz and share your results with the others in the waiting room.

4. Ask if anyone minds if you change the channel. Put the TV on channel 88 and stare intently at the snow and static. Try to get others in the room involved in discussing the complexities of the show.

3. Open a can of sardines and offer to share them with the others. If anyone accepts, feed the sardine to them yourself. Every time you eat one, give a very enthusiastic 'uuummmm!'

2. Pretend to sleep. Snore loudly and snort occasionally as though you inhaled a hair ball. Utter random muttered words like 'truck', 'asparagus', and 'lantern'. Every now and then open an eye and see if anyone is watching you. Close your eye quickly if you make eye-contact.

1. Remove a watering can from your bag and water the plants. Caress them lovingly and sing softly to them. Pluck off any dead leaves and place them very delicately into your bag. If the plants are plastic just pretend to water them with an empty can. When finished, approach the receptionist and inform her that she is doing a piss-poor job of tending the plants. Especially 'Sally'.