The thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
Demetri Martin

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

For Your Reading Pleasure

In the market for a new home?  Me neither, however....

On our way out of the grocery store last evening my husband grabbed a real estate booklet from the rack by the door.  I'm not entirely sure why...  Maybe it was serendipitous, because there was a listing that really caught our eye.  A modest three story brick house with attached two car garage, landscaped yard and a bonus fourth level observation dome. 

Check out the description that was included with the picture:
Cul-de-sac Luxury!  Beautifully detailed w/ exquisite finishes!  Spectacular views & fenced yard for kids and pets!  Elevator, indoor pool & hot tub! 
$1, 685, 000.
We were on the fence until the part about the fenced backyard.  Pun intended.

Okay, call me crazy.  Like you haven't done that before. 
But -

If you were in the market for a home equipped with an elevator and indoor pool, not to mention the luxuries of location and design implied in a $1.7 million purchase, and had the bizarre experience of actually finding one ready made and for sale (because, we all know that you would find said home in the gratuit real estate booklet sitting on the wire rack by the grocery store exit) I just don't see how a fenced backyard would play into the equation.

This description is less than thirty words in length.  Luckily they managed to squeeze in the bit about the fenced yard (exclamation mark).  I can see how it really ties in with the (capital L) "luxury" image they are trying to portray.  All before they even mention the lesser Luxurious ELEVATOR, indoor pool and hot tub.  Sorry, I added those caps.

I guess this is what hiring someone to sell your million dollar home gets you. A thirty word laughable blurb in a free booklet that is more likely to shield a toddler's bum from a rain-soaked grocery cart than to see the hands of a wealthy individual desperately seeking prime Luxury real estate.

I would think that if you could afford to buy a $1.7 million home, then you could hire someone to build you an  fence, if a fence was in fact an essential feature.  I mean, rather than holding out for a fully completed and available home with exquisite finishes, spectacular views, indoor pool and hot tub, an elevator, a 360 degree observation room AND a fenced back yard.  Because you can find plenty of houses like that in the free Real estate booklet available at your local bank or grocery store. 

I guess it's just easier to make a point if you have more than thirty words.  If only someone with a budget befitting the purchase of a million dollar home would pay me for my time.  Then I'd never have anything bad to say. 

Because I would own this house. 

Hey, we've been looking for a fenced yard for our kids & pets.  Oh yeah, exclamation point.

1 comment:

Sonia at The Third Street Studio said...

I wonder if it would be hot in the observation room in the summer time. That would be a deal breaker for me.


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